Privatization at the Republican National Convention

What could go wrong if the United States privatizes Medicare and Social Security? Just ask the delegates to the Republican National Convention in Tampa.

After last night’s session (featuring Ann Romney pro-love and Chris Christie anti-love), many delegates attempted to take a 10-minute chartered bus ride back to their hotels. Two hours later, these huddled “masses” finally made it back to their hotels after enduring a “Lord of the Flies” episode aboard their gridlocked charters. Bribes were paid by a delegate from (where else?) Illinois. The Utah Attorney General claimed he had been “held hostage.”

The chair of the RNC transportation committee was “very upset about the fact our vendor did not produce the results we asked for.” Likewise, the National Chairman for the GOP told a newspaper, “Of course we want to address it…but there’s not a whole lot we can do.”

Convention Theme: We Built It, or, Throw your hands in the air, and wave ’em like you just don’t care.

Since the GOP totally nailed this privatized, third-party, outsourced crosstown bus ride, I would like to move (by proxy) that they just go ahead and privatize Medicare and Social Security next month. How hard could it be anyway?

 

About Ben Ponder, Editor-at-Large

Ben Ponder, PhD, is Editor-at-Large at Media Rostra. Ben has received decorative pieces of paper conferring upon him an unnamed set of “rights and privileges accorded thereto” from the University of Arkansas, Regent College, and Northwestern University (where he was a Presidential Fellow). He studied (in alphabetical order) architecture, classics, communication, history, political science, rhetoric, and theology. He is the author of American Independence: From Common Sense to the Declaration (“Sizzling.” – TMZ) and the co-editor of Making the Case: Advocacy and Judgment in Public Argument (“Six-pack abs-olutely great!” – US Weekly). Ben is currently an executive in the educational software industry. He and his organic wife, Amy, live with their four free-range kids in a farmhouse Ben designed and built. His personal site on the Interweb is benponder.com, and he can be reached on Twitter @ponderben.